a journey of life choices regarding our relationships
Many years ago we had friends who disconnected from us painfully, which also included detangling our elementary aged kids. It was sad and difficult at the time, but I can see in retrospect how the relationship was unhealthy.
Such a great post, Sue - thank you.
I lost one of my closest friends nearly ten years ago, and I've always struggled to accept that. Desperately sad. Thank you for raising her into my consciousness and giving me the opportunity to lay some ghosts to rest.
This strikes home for me. I recently had a long time friend that I was growing away from due to different interests dump me as a friend. I tried to contact him several times to find out why, even went to his house and left a note on the front door, but to no avail. I later found out through a mutual friend his reason. That disturbed me that he could tell our mutual friend but not me. As time has passed I have come to accept his disrespectful way of terminating our friendship in much the way you describe that in the long run as I move on, new things fill that vacant space and I should not spend time pining over it.
Beautifully done. I've loved and been heavily influenced by the movie Julia. Loved the terminology of Pentimento. At first, when reading here, I heard in my head from "womb to tomb we're alone." However close we get to anyone, however long it lasts or doesn't, doesn't change that initial five worded truth. The greeting card memorabilia about friends being there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. That also is a way to evaluate what has started and how it ends. I think more than anything is the start... how it feels to connect, find similarities and the ease of conversation. I wish we didn't feel the need to grasp in our relating but to flow, to enjoy, and as easily as it was to shake hands, let it be easy to release. In the long and short of it all, I find the angst adds so much more stress and tension, usually, unnecessary to existence.
Oh, I like this! “our task is to claim the gifts we are leaving with”
I believe we received little gems from all people who touch our lives. Sometimes lessons, sometimes opportunities for growth and sometimes insights into our own psyche.
I love interesting words like this. I too have learned to let friendships be once they seem to have passed their expiry date, although I sometimes wonder what truly caused the demise.
A few years back, a friend, whose own mother had passed away, became livid with me expressing frustration with my mom. She snarled at me that I should be glad I HAVE my mom. Then she proceeded to ghost me.
This a a person for whom I drove 3 hours, including taking a ferry to support her at her mother’s funeral. I did not know her mom, but suspected that she would be supporting everyone else. I wanted her to know that she was loved and her pain acknowledged.
Friendships come and go. I used to fret about what I did wrong and what I could do better. Now I understand.
People come to us for a reason, a season, or life.
I accept that as it is and I am grateful to have found you, regardless of the duration of our new kinship.